


Pigeon

by Ofsucculents_andstars



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Domestic Phan, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 06:37:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13452609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ofsucculents_andstars/pseuds/Ofsucculents_andstars
Summary: Based off a Phil tweet- what would happen if Dan and Phil’s child wants to bring home a pigeon?





	Pigeon

"But Papaaaaa!"

"Ethan," Phil said in a low warning tone.

"Why can't we just have oneeee? I promise I'll feed him and care for him!"

Phil nervously glanced around at the London passerbys- who did not seem to be fans of his six-year-old's tantrum. 

He supposed it was partially his fault- it had been his idea to take Ethan on a city outing to give Dan a day of rest which he so desperately deserved, it had been his idea to come to the park which had the most pigeons in London, and it had been his idea to point out a one legged pigeon and name it Jeffery. And of course Ethan, who Dan said was becoming more and more like Phil by the day, wanted to take Jeffery home. 

But as much as Phil wanted his son to get everything he wanted- he couldn't bring a flying disease sack into their home.

Ethan had begun to cry. Sighing, Phil got on one knee and held out his arms, pulling Ethan into a hug. Phil kissed the side of his head and ran his fingers through his dirty blonde curls.

"I know you want to take Jeffery home, but this is his home, he has all his pigeon friends here and this is where he belongs."

Ethan sniffled.

"B-but Papa, look! He only has one leg and the other pigeons are leaving him out. What if he- he- he goes hungry during the winter?"

Phil looked at Jeffery, and Ethan had a point. All the other pigeons had flown away and poor Jeffery was just hopping around looking for more food. Jeffery seemed to notice him looking and hopped towards the pair, cooing curiously.

What if Jeffery did die in the winter? And it would be all Phil's fault... God this was a terrible idea.

"Okay, how about we make a deal?" Phil suggested.

Ethan nodded eagerly.

"We can take Jeffery home and then take him to the vet to see if he is okay, but only if we can find a way to take him home."

"Yay! Thank you, Papa!" Ethan tightened his hug on Phil and as Phil hugged his son back, this all felt worth the trouble.

~

Jeffery cooed happily in the passenger seat, eyeing Phil up like he was crazy. (What a smart disease sack.) Ethan was joyfully sniggering and snorting in his car seat. Honestly, Phil had no idea that it would go this far. He had expected Jeffery to fly away the minute he tried to pick him up, but apparently Jeffery really was a special pigeon. It wasn't just picking him up either. Jeffery willingly hid under Phil's coat for the entire train ride. This was some disease sack.

Maybe, perhaps, they could keep Jeffery. They could build him a birdhouse and... no, Dan wouldn't allow it. Dan hated pigeons. And Phil had a feeling Nuki would chase poor Jeffery around too. 

But the look on Ethan's face...  
Maybe Dan didn't have to know.

"Ethan?" Phil called, turning the dial down on the radio.

"Yeah?"

"I think that it might be a good idea to not let Daddy know that we're bringing Jeffery in," Phil warned. He could already sense defeat. As much as he loved his son, six year olds couldn't keep secrets for more than a minute. At least without giggling.

"Why?" Ethan asked.

"Because, um, Daddy has never really liked pigeons too much, and I don't want to worry him."

Ethan paused for a beat, contemplating Phil's response.

"But when you took me to the building today you said you and Daddy liked to live in the city. How could he like it without loving all the pigeons?"

Phil smiled. That kid was too smart for his own good.

"He just didn't like them. Now we're about to pull in. Can you promise to be quiet about Jeffery?" Phil asked. He saw Ethan nod in the mirror.

The car slowed to a stop and Phil twisted the keys and turned it off, the Muse song being rapidly cut off. As Ethan exited, Phil reached into the passenger seat and pulled a cooing Jeffery under his coat, praying that he wouldn't poop.

With his other hand he took Ethan's and they walked together to the front door. Ethan broke away early to race against nothing in particular to the door and open it first. Phil's mind went to him and Martyn wrestling as kids, and the recent conversations he and Dan had been having about having a second child. He shook the thought off for a later time- they were on a mission. 

Ethan pulled open the door and they stepped into the warmth of their house.

Phil's original plan had been to quickly find a place to hide Jeffery, but his family seemed to have other plans.

"Hello!" The voice of his husband echoed throughout the flat. Ethan responded before a Phil could.

"We're home, Daddy!" He shouted.

Dan appeared in the open wall to the living area with Nuki happily trotting at his heals. Ethan ran to him and Dan kneeled down to pull him into a hug. 

"I've missed you two," Dan commented as they broke the hug, gazing at Phil with eyes that Phil usually only saw Dan do away from Ethan's sight. Oh god...

Dan began to walk slowly towards Phil midst smirking and Phil adjusted his coat nervously. Ethan was now saying hello to Nuki and was blissfully unaware of his parents. The sweat ran down Phil's neck as the house suddenly felt a hundred degrees hotter. His coat stirred but Dan didn't notice.

Dan loosely wrapped an arm around Phil's neck and touched their noses.

"Ewwwww!" Commented Ethan, but the spouses didn't care.

Dan started to lean his whole body into Phil's for a kiss, and as their lips met, the slow motion world sped into fast forward.

Jeffery screamed.. yes screamed, and flew rapidly up, smashing through their faces. 

Dan screamed 

"FUCK SHITTING DICK NIPPLE!" 

"Language, Daniel!"

"I'm sorry but did you just bring this disease sack into our home?!?" Dan exclaimed.

Nuki has begun to bark at the bird and Ethan was laughing uncontrollably.

"It was lonely! And hungry and it had no frie-"

Dan's anger melted into a found smile. No matter how ridiculous Phil was, Dan would always love him.   
And though they didn't agree about the rightful home for pigeons, Phil would've never married anyone else.


End file.
